He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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