Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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