This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
