It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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