You made me cry and you don't even care
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
