chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
