I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
