The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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