So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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