omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
