At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
