I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
