My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
