well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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