I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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