so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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