he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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