Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize