I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she told me i tasted like america
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
