I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
