I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
