i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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