he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
