1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
