I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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