we have officially lost it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i out mim tonsoeep
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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