Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
