i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
