i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
