do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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