my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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