Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
