i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
