P.S. I can't hear my feet
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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