Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
