Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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