Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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