I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
