Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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