i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
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