it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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