she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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