no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
