i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Of course I have a pirate flag
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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