just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
