god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
