matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
As shirtless as possible
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
