hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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