I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My balls are so social today.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
