still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
