He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize