what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
