Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
