ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
