he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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