I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
