I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
