yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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