You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
