The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
