9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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