I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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