just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
