Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
